I For One Welcome…


… our new rat-controlling telepathic masters

by on Aug.07, 2013, under Animals, Evil Geniuses, Rats

So it looks like scientists have created a way to control rats just by thinking.. The process is non-invasive, and could theoretically be covered up by a hat.
There’s two ways I can see this going. One is where someone of lower morals gets ahold of this technology and creates an army of vermin. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be any reason why it has to stop at rats, why not monkeys, rabbits, or even sharks (though there’s something more comforting about the idea of being conquered by sharks wearing top-hats).
The other possiblity is if someone tries to mind-control a strong willed animal, but is then mentally overpowered and the animal ends up controlling the human.
Either way this ends badly for humanity.

Comments Off on … our new rat-controlling telepathic masters more...

… our new telepathic rodent overlords

by on Feb.28, 2013, under Animals, Rats





So there’s a lab in Brazil that sticks a chip in a rats brain, teaches the rat a trick, and then ‘records’ the impulses when he does it.  This data is then transmitted to California, where it is ‘played’ in similarly wired rat’s brain.  This second rat can now do the trick without being taught directly.

In doing this, scientists have not only created rats that can effectively communicate telepathically, they’re also creating a rodent hive mind that isn’t limited by geography!  Seems harmless, but wait until the collective thought power of these telepathic rats becomes capable of performing the brain surgery itself, and decides it should start wiring up Great Apes or Sharks?!  You just wait, you’ll see….

Brain-to-brain interfaces have arrived, and they are absolutely mindblowing.

Comments Off on … our new telepathic rodent overlords more...

…our new unpoisonable rat masters

by on Aug.12, 2011, under Rats

Remember that dude from ‘The Princess Bride’ who developed a immunity to iocane powder through years of taking small amounts of it?  Rats are kind of like that guy (who totally rocked and got to marry a princess in the end by the way) but they’re immune to ALL poisons!  That’s right, rats are pretty much can’t be poisoned.


Comments Off on …our new unpoisonable rat masters more...

… our new poison-packing rat masters

by on Aug.12, 2011, under Rats

Everyone knows that rats are devious and conniving, but turns out their level of sophistication is much higher than any of us imagined.  They’re using weapons of their own fashion now!  They take poison from a lethal plant (that humans use for poisoning darts) and use it to take down things like jackals and lions.  MOTHERFUCKING LIONS!  Have you seen a lion?  They’re HUGE, and these little rats (though to be fair, they’re known  as Giant African Rats) are able to take down these kings of the jungle!  I’m going to head home and remove all traps from my basement, just to make sure I’m on their good side when they take over.


Comments Off on … our new poison-packing rat masters more...

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

Visit our friends!

A few highly recommended friends...